Warmth
by windwhisprer
Summary: [oneshot] [SatoRisa] Did she love him? Did he love her? Was she setting herself up to be hurt again? All she knew was that his warmth kept away the cold.


**Warmth**

It was cold. Amazingly cold. Yet it wasn't snowing. Something that annoyed Harada Risa to no extent. She hated the cold, but found it all right as long as it was snowing. She loved the snow. There were simply no words to explain what it was like, to come across a field, glistening with a blanket of white. But, at the same time, she didn't like the cold. It was, well, _cold. _So, when she woke that morning, finding the weather man had been wrong, as there was no snow on the ground, she had been a little annoyed.

Another thing she hated about the cold, was that people, couples, to be more specific, found the need to huddle together for warmth. Risa hated seeing that. It only served to remind her that she was alone. She didn't have anyone to hold her hand. No one to whisper sweet nothings to her. No one to huddle close to in the cold. It drove her insane.

It didn't help much, when Niwa-kun suddenly appeared on her doorstep, saying he wanted to walk Riku to school. Her sister had happily walked out the door with him, and Risa watched as Daisuke put his arm around her shoulders as they walked. It made her sick with loneliness.

So, by the time she had gotten to school, she was in a very, bad mood.

Being surrounded by couples, had drove her bitter. She had snapped at Takeshi when he proceeded to be extra annoying this morning. He stared at her. Shocked at her anger. Well, it didn't matter. He deserved it.

---

He hated the cold. It blew through him easily and could chill him to the bone, no matter how many layers he wore. He hated winter. It wasn't as though he had a deep, passionate hatred spawning from old memories and harbored grudges. He just saw no point in it. It was cold. Dreary. Dead. It reminded him of all the aspects of his life. The dreary, dead aspects he hated.

Furthermore, it reminded him he was alone.

Cold and alone, stuck in his apartment. The only thing he had to listen to late at night, was not the soft whisperings of loving parents, or bickering of siblings. It was silent. Deathly silence that he hated with a passion.

Still, it was his silence. And he lived with it.

He hated winter because of the freezing tempters, but hated it more because it stole the little things he cherished and kept close, for it seemed to be the only thing keeping him sane these days. His time sitting in the park on breezy summer afternoons reading a good book disappeared all together in the winter. Sitting in his apartment with nothing to do, no where to go, he almost snapped. Since Dark and Krad had disappeared in one fell move, he had little to deal with in life anymore. Niwa was finally able to get closer to Riku, without worrying about Dark, but he could tell the boy missed his companion. Every time a crow flew through the sky, or a black feather caught his eye, a sad look would come over his face.

He didn't miss Krad. Not like Niwa missed Dark. He hated Krad. No, he hated Krad with a _passion_. But still, his mind felt oddly empty. His nerves felt too relaxed. It wasn't as though he missed him, but... he fully realized now how _alone _he was. And winter seemed to do nothing to dull the notion of that.

But, he continually told himself that being alone, and loneliness were two entirely different things.

He still didn't know which one he was.

He entered class late that morning, as everyone else had already arrived. Everyone else wore nice jackets. Unaffected by the cold. Satoshi had worn at least five layers that day. Yet he was still cold. Everyone was chattering about how the classroom was so warm, and were glad for it. Satoshi was still cold to the core, but then mused that there was no cure for that.

Class had started, and Satoshi found himself not really listening. He had found a decent book and he was totally, and completely wrapped up in it. It wasn't like he was missing anything important anyway, he had finished grade nine before, and could do it again blindfolded.

---

Once the lunch bell rang, Risa wasn't sure weather or not to be happy. That would mean she would be thrust out into the cold. She had little choice though, and simply scuffled to her feet, exiting the class in a robotic fashion. She grabbed the bento box her mother had packed for her lunch, and grabbed her jacket, before heading outside. She found a small spot by a tree and took her seat. Eating alone seemed to be a habit she had picked up out of late.

As she gazed around, sadly, she recalled memories of Dark. She didn't know what made her think of him. Perhaps it was because of all the happy couples. Perhaps because around the bend was where she threw herself into his arms almost a year ago. Maybe it was because he seemed to fill her mind as of late.

She couldn't help bu think of the man she had loved. He was perfect for her, or so she had thought. Strong. Handsome. Free. There were so many qualities that had drew her to him. But now he was gone. Gone forever to never return.

It wasn't as though they were star-struck lovers. So it shouldn't matter, right? Wrong. Since he had disappeared, she had never felt so alone. Even though he hand't loved her. Even though she knew her fantasies could never be fulfilled. She just wished, hoped, that he would change. That he would see her, and love her.

But he never did.

Risa clamped her hand over her mouth as memories shot back at her in a rather painful manner. Her sadness was so thick, she almost threw up. She glanced around, finding people standing around in the cold, eating their lunches without a care in the world. No. She couldn't let them see her cry. Risa scrambled to her feet and tore off behind the school, trying to find some place where she could stop herself from crying.

---

Why had he been walking? Simple. As long as he kept moving, he wouldn't freeze to death.

He had been strolling around aimlessly, trying to fill his head with thoughts, and calculations so he wouldn't have to dwell on the idea that he was freezing. He had finished his lunch of bread and water some time before. Normally, he ate his lunch with Niwa, but the boy seemed distracted by a certain Harada as of late, and did not push for the boy's attention.

So, he headed to the more secluded side of school, hoping not to run into Saehara or anyone else that might want to pay attention to him. He was fine by himself.

As Satoshi rounded another corner, he heard a soft, muffled sound that caught his attention. He glanced around the corner, finding Harada Risa, seated on the ground, her head buried in her hands. Her shoulders were shaking, and along with the small, muffled whimpers he could hear escaping from her hands, it was obvious she was crying.

He had thought of simply turning and walking away. And all though that would be the smartest thing to do in this situation, he didn't. He stood, frozen for a second, staring at the girl who sat crying. He instantly felt guilty for thinking he could simply walk away. Maybe he should fetch Daisuke? He was better at these kinds of things. Not by much, but he was still better at it.

Finally, he decided he couldn't simply leave her to stay here crying, and approached her.

"Harada-san?" he said softly, looking down at the girl wrapped up in her large white, coat. "Are you all right?"

She looked up at him through glasses brown eyes. Tears streaked down her face, staining her perfect complexion. She looked up at him, slightly shocked he had found her this way. He looked down at her, and never, in the time that he knew her, had Harada Risa seemed so small, and so afraid. She was looking up at him like a frightened animal, about to be killed. "H-Hiwatari-kun..." she said softly, before she tried to wipe her eyes on her sleeve. "G-Gomen. I-I was j-just-" she cut herself off, knowing full well that he knew exactly what she had been doing.

Satoshi rolled his eyes. "Um, is there anything... I can..?" he wasn't sure what to do. Damn. He should have just gotten Niwa.

She looked up at him again, as a few more silent tears rolled down her face. He saw the need. The sheer pleading in her eyes. "Hi...Hiwatari-kun..?" she mumbled, before looking back up at him. "Can I just..." a few more tears began rolling down her face at a rapid rate. "Can I cry on your shoulder?" her voice was cracking with suppressed sobs.

The question caught him completely off guard he didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth to refuse, but seeing that look of pure helplessness, he couldn't refuse. He nodded. "Hai."

He wasn't expecting her to throw herself into his chest, and full out start sobbing.

She clutched his jacket in her hands, and buried her face into his chest, sobbing her eyes out. This had caused Satoshi to fall back, leaving the poor girl sprawled out over him. He sat stunned for a few moments, before, automatically, he wrapped his arms around her. He gently rubbed her back as she began to cry out all her sadness, all her rejection.

He knew exactly what she was crying about. Or, rather, who. He knew she missed Dark. He could see it in those large, chestnut eyes of hers. He closed his eyes and forced himself to remember; she loves Dark.

After a few minutes, he realized she had stopped crying, but had not pulled herself from him. He looked down at her, half expecting her to stand up, thank him, and walk away. But it didn't happen. A part of him was glad for it. Slowly, she peeled her face from his jacket, and looked up at him through her chestnut eyes of hers. "G-Gomen nasai, Hiwatari-kun." she whispered, before diverting her embarrassed gaze from his ocean eyes.

He could see it in her eyes. Loneliness. The same loneliness that haunted him day by day. He could see the want, the need to have someone by her side. A stray thought made it's way into his head, but he discarded it before it could even take shape. _"She loves Dark." _

"H-Hiwatari-kun? C-Can we stay like this, for a l-little longer?" she whispered meekly.

He looked down at her, but she had already buried her face back in his jacket, hiding her eyes-- the windows to her soul-- from him. He knew he shouldn't. He had to distance himself from this woman right then! He wouldn't-- _couldn't _-- become attached to this woman. She was gain his trust, then rip out his heart. He didn't want to be hurt. Still, he couldn't stop himself from saying; "Of course," and holding her tighter.

Oh, how he wished to bottle this moment and keep it forever. But time was not on his side today, as the bell signaling they had to go back to class let out a long, painful ring. Risa looked up at him, and he looked down at her. He was about to suggest they skip class and just stay like this, but, that was foolish. He began to pull himself awa from her, when her grip tightened. "H-Hiwatari-kun?"

"What?" he asked, his tone slightly annoyed from having their moment interrupted.

"I... could you help me stand?" she whispered, embarrassed.

He inwardly sighed, and lifted the girl to her feet. All though when she regained her footing and stood for herself, he would not let her go. Satoshi stared into her deep, chestnut eyes, and found himself overwhelmed by the need to hold her. To spill everything to her. To give her his heart. It was almost uncontrollable.

"Hiwatari-kun?" she whispered. "We have to go."

He didn't hear her. He wondered if his pure need shone through his emotionless mask. He knew it did, and did nothing to stop it. "Risa..." he whispered. Her name was a curse to him. Intoxicating him. Letting it roll off his tongue caused fire to run through his veins.

He tried to stop himself. Reminding himself that she didn't love him. That she would hurt him. His mind relayed everything he had but it didn't stop him. He held Risa by the shoulders and before he could stop himself, pulled her close and pushed his lips to hers.

It was something he had longed for. To hold Risa, and be able to kiss her. To taste her on his lips. He expected her to struggle, to rip away from him and smack him across the face for such an impulsive act, but she didn't. Risa completely relaxed into him. Melted. Then she kissed him back! He could've died that very moment and been the happiest man who had ever walked the Earth.

His hands slid to her hips, freeing her. Her arms circled around his neck and she pushed her body closer to his.

It was a moment of pure bliss.

---

Risa was in heaven. As she pushed her body closer to Satoshi's to deepen the kiss, she could honestly feel perfectly at peace.

Had it been the loneliness in his eyes? The need for human contact, the same need that dwelled within her that drew them together? Perhaps it was, and perhaps it wasn't. They were two lonely souls, looking for someone to spend their days with. Risa didn't even know if what they had meant anything. Did he love her? Did she love him? Was she simply setting herself up to be hurt again? She had a million questions, yet no answers.

As she got a nose full of Satoshi's scent, and felt the warmth coming from him, she found it wasn't all that important. Whatever will be, will be, as her mother always said.

The thing that brought peace to mind was that the second Satoshi's lips met hers, she forgot Dark. She forgot all the pain he caused her. The love she had for him. She forgot all about him as she stood in Satoshi's arms. It was as though, he was no longer important. Just a past love, and already gone from her life. Her thoughts filled with the blue haired man standing in front of her. She didn't know if this was what she truly wanted, but it just felt... right.

And so, Risa continued to kiss the man in front of her. Not sure if it was love. Not sure if it wasn't. What she was sure of, was that his warmth kept away the cold.

And Risa hated the cold.

-

**A/N:** 'Nother SatoRisa fic. This is my favorite couple in Dn angel. Sure, there's plenty of others, but right now, this one is at the top.

I'm sorry if Satoshi is OOC, but I really wanted him to initiate the kiss. Don't ask why. Weird... female...ness..ess...

I should be focusing on stories that I have yet to finish, but I had a sudden pang of; "I want to write a story." and this appeared. I really wanted to write about Satoshi and Risa, and have them share a kiss that meant nothing. -scans back through- Okay... so... it didn't exactly mean nothing. I guess I wasn't exactly trying that hard either. I'm just bad at it. Oh well. I hoped you at least enjoyed it.


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